I’ve always been an optimistic person, except when it comes to myself. Looking in the mirror I never saw a perfect person. I want to say I never tried to be perfect but that would be a lie, most of us strive for perfection. The idea of perfection has made many people
millions billions of dollars over the years. Everywhere we turn we’re told we aren’t good enough, we’re told we aren’t perfect and need a pill or product to enhance our lives that much more! All I know is all the enhancements make me feel worse about who I am.
As some people know, I had gotten a second tattoo. I wanted a heart to wear on my sleeve to remind me that’s who I am, it’s who I’ve always been but never realized it until the past few years. ANYWAY, this tattoo did not turn out the way I had visioned it to look, not how the artist or I discussed, and as soon as I looked at it I thought WTF!!!! After a moment, I calmed my thoughts down… thinking it’s not that bad, it may just take some time to get used to. Time to let the what I wanted and what I got to settle, then I can figure out if I liked it or not. During the 20 minute drive home i decided I didn’t like this new tattoo, it had to be removed from my arm….immediately!!! I wanted to scrub it off, I started looking for tattoo removal places, I cried. A few weeks later, after I had already scheduled the appointment with a plastic surgeon to start the process for removal (which will be a different post later), a friend sent me a link about regret:
I watched the video and shook my head at everything this woman said, then laughed! The great thing about the video was I had already thought about keeping this tattoo and using it as a reminder of regret and imperfections. As much as I want this tattoo gone, I wanted to remember I’m not perfect. The tattoo is not perfect, not for me anyway. The scar of getting this tattoo and hating it will always remain. It will always be a part of me, an experience I can’t change, yet I’m still alive and well.
After getting my first tattoo, so many people have commented how they have always wanted one but can’t decided on what to get…you know because a tattoo is permanent. For a long time, I too, was terrified of the permanency of a tattoo, but now I realize it’s just a mark. There are people who hate tattoo’s, who think people who have them are trashy, or messed up in the head. For me a tattoo is an outwardly expression of what I have always felt on the inside. Getting the tattoo’s hasn’t changed “who I am,” they changed how I am. I am less fearful of screwing up and more relaxed. Sure there are a few things I regret about the tattoo but a lot of good came from it too. The tattoo is a reminder of ONE of my own imperfections, yet it’s perfect in so many ways.
inspiration song: Nobody’s perfect by Jessie J.
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