My alarm clock buzzes at 5:10am every morning. Most of those morning, I drag my body out of bed, walk aimlessly into the bathroom, brush my teeth, throw on my workout clothes, put my hair up in a pony tail, then look in the mirror and say in my mind “what’s the alternative?” Working out is a choice I make almost every morning, some mornings I choose to go back to bed but it’s still the choice I make. My body is far from where I wish it was yet I am thankful for where I am at.
Growing up I remember going to the doctors, having to pee in the cup to have my urine checked for ketones and sugar. I was the fat slow kid with the mind of a race horse, giving up or giving in to not doing was never an option for me. My brother’s would beat me up, but in my mind I was always stronger than them. By time I entered college, stress and poor eating got the best of me and made me realize I needed to control my blood sugar and moods. Exercise was all I had. I ran a lot in my 20’s, even when not to because of a bad knee. The pain isn’t bad…it’s only when I walk. As the years went on and work left me exhausted physically and emotionally the weight piled back on and depression set in again. Add children to the mix and it’s a disaster weighting to happen.
There’s a point we have to hit to realize change needs to happen, in anything we do in life. It’s the point which motivates us to rise above the weight which holds us down. Each of us is different, everyone has different low/high points and different weights to hold on to. When I start to get frustrated in my workout results, I again ask myself “what’s the alternative?” Sure I could stop but then a new set of issues will creep up before I know it. When I see the girls faced with a challenge, see them struggling to complete a task, or fear starting to set in on their face I ask them “what’s the alternative?” Cry when it’s over but keep pushing through the task at hand. You can’t focus when tears are clouding your vision. It works every time! Tears are still shed, but no one gives up.
Morning workouts have always been more than just a physical need to keep my body healthy. They are moments of silence, even when music is screaming through the ear buds, to allow my mind to process the thoughts for the day. Workouts are my way of starting the day on a positive note, set goals, and to tell myself I can handle what comes my way. For me, there is no quitting, there are only better solutions to keep trying.
Inspiration Song: Linkin Park-Faint
“I am, a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
‘Cause you don’t understand I do what I can
But sometimes I don’t make sense
I am, what you never want to say, but I’ve never had a doubt
It’s like no matter what I do I can’t convince you for once just to hear me out
So I, let go watching you turn your back like you always do
You face away and pretend I’m not
But I’ll be here ’cause you’re all that I’ve got”
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