After running some errands then playing around with a few other photo ideas, I decided to head home. It was raining, cold and the girls were good sports. Then I made a last minute decision to stop in our church parking lot. The only cars around were parked for car pool purposes. Perfect…we can take our time and get it right.
As I had H. positioned in the puddle, trying to make adjustments to not get a light post in the photo etc…I look up, THERE IS A EXPEDITION coming down the drive. UGH! We moved off to the side and he drove through my perfectly clear puddle of water. I seriously think people follow me when I go out to shoot pictures, just to screw up my images. It happens at the playground, parks, hidden alleys, beaches…where ever it is when I decided to stop it’s empty, until I pull a camera out.
Anyway, I take the photo, the sx-70 spits out the film right into a cold clip. Due to the cold, I keep the cold clip under my arm until I unloaded the car. One time, I peeked inside just to make sure there was something starting to develop. I have a love/hate relationship with the unpredictability of Impossible Project Film when shooting outside in the cold. Admittedly, I press and pray something develops with each shutter click. Right away I noticed a “flaw.” Part of me was relieved there was something there, another part annoyed because I wanted to image to be “perfect.”
The image was far from perfect, even if the mark wasn’t there. Frustration made me rush the shot. At home, I scanned the image then looked in Photoshop, my immediate reaction…clone clone clone. I wanted to clone out all the little distractions which caught my eye, so I did. Immediately, I felt a feeling of guilt come over me. One of the reasons I love instant film is because it’s not perfect. There isn’t a need to edit, the picture it is what it is. So I posted here and flickr my flawed image for all to see.
WHY? Why would I show a photo that isn’t “perfect?” Everyone who is shooting digital thinks “it’s ok, I’ll fix it in Photoshop.” or “i can clone that out in Photoshop later.” I’ve done it. Over the past year or so I find it’s hard to look at some many wonderful images posted on the web. It seems there is a false sense of what is natural and what is done in Photoshop, yet never knowing what is or isn’t real. Like body image issues from looking at too many airbrushed magazine photos, I am a photographer who has photo issues. My digital photos are edited in Photoshop. I adjust color and sometimes add a texture to make the image more artsy. Rarely do I “add” in items that were there to begin with, I’ll clone out distracting bits but nothing major. SO when I see images that are stunning I wonder if it’s real, how did they do that, maybe I’m just not very good and that’s why my never look as good as some other images. WHO KNOWS!
What i do know, is I’m trying to love the perfect as well as the imperfect. Trying to take the photo for what it is, a moment captured in less than a second, how can we expect it to be perfect. I’m trying to love the memories of all the things that go right or wrong which TRULY make us remember the moment itself.
ps. fate was in store for this post today…I bought the travel size version of Perfection while at Target this morning, before any of the images were taken. The girls were playing it as I finished typing this post. 🙂
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